A Wrinkle in Chexsystems

WARNING: This post is a rant. There is no higher purpose for this post. I’m pi$$ed, and I’m letting it rip. Feel free to move on.

I’ve written several posts about dealing with life after being reported to Chexsystems. This evening, we discovered a wrinkle that can be a HUGE problem.

A couple of years ago, we were in Las Vegas, having a grand time. At the Luxor, we found that our debit card was too worn to work at the casino’s ATMs. So we (hesitantly) wrote a check for cash at the cashier’s window. Instant cash, no problem, right?

Today, we discovered that someone had fraudulently opened an account in my wife’s name… which put her in the dreaded Chexsystems abyss.

F&!$ing douchebags.

The idea of a person with a “good” credit score (above 700) not being able to open a checking account with a traditional bank is completely absurd. It’s too much of a stretch for these people to ponder, “Wow, this person keeps their finances in order. Yet, we have an obvious anomaly. Maybe, just maybe, something is afoul here.” Remember when banks were run by breathing, thinking human beings? Not anymore. They’re run by Chexsystems, a faceless, omnipotent, unreachable entity.

The problem is that Chexsystems is virtually untouchable. Sure, you can snail-mail or fax a letter of explanation, but the likelihood of it doing any good is negligible at best. If an explanation letter has saved any of you, speak up and prove me wrong. I’ve never heard of anyone who has gotten anywhere that way.

Thankfully, we have a joint account with ING Direct, a bank that doesn’t appear to participate in the Chexsystems douchebaggery. Mailing checks is a bit of an annoyance, but insiders have told me that they will instantly accept scanned checks for deposit soon. F$%!, I’ll invest in a $100 scanner for that sort of convenience. Either way, if it means we never have to deal with a brick-and-mortar bank again, I’m a happy guy.